Not Myself, a CSI songfic
by R.S. Adams
Summary: A songfic for CSI, GSR Good story, sucky summary!


**Not Myself**

A songfic collaboration

By:

John Mayer (who wrote the song)

And

R.S. Adams (who wrote the story)

Warning: This story was written in a bit of a Coffee induced- staying up until three AM- haze, so its all out of the shows sequence of events.

* * *

_Suppose I said_

_I am on my best behavior_

_And there are times_

_I lose my worried mind_

Sara was going to drive him crazy! Trying to take down a suspect by herself! Not to mention that she had several very capable detectives and police officers there for that very reason. So _**she wouldn't have to try**_! Did she have some crazy idea that she was Wonder woman now?

"Are you mad at me?" he heard her ask from somewhere buried between his arms. Truth was he wasn't, he was just trying not to lose his mind with the what if's. being mad was easier.

"no honey, I'm not mad."

_Would you want me when I'm not myself?_

_ Wait it out while I am someone else? _

_Suppose I said_

_Colors change for no good reason_

_And words will go_

_From poetry to prose_

"Greg, what have I said about the music?" he huffed when he entered the small experiment room in the lab to find yet _**another**_ Modest Mouse song playing on the stereo. It wasn't really loud and it wasn't really disturbing anyone, he hadn't even heard it until he opened the door, but still, it was the principle of the thing. That and he was still mad about Greg and Sara's little date that Greg had so subtly informed him of.

"Um, I actually turned it on." Sara said her face daring him to comment, he didn't. Just sent Greg what he hoped was a fairly intense look and went about his business.

_Would you want me when I'm not myself? _

_Wait it out while I am someone else? _

_And I, in time, will come around_

_I always do for you _

"Grissom" Sara cried out in front of him, her arm still in the Cloth and metal brace moving slightly and her other arm moving wildly, the oddly colored bangles that she'd yet to remove jangling noisily. "I need to go back out into the field, its been a month."

"no, its been a little over three weeks" he answered her, still not rising his voice level to hers.

"Grissom" she said warningly, he recognized that voice, it was the same on she used when forcing him to come home after a particularly long and grueling case, the one with steel hidden in it.

Sighing he looked up at her with piercing blues eyes, trying to convey that he just wanted her to be safe, he couldn't handle her getting hurt again. And it being his fault. Again.

"I know, I'll be safe, I promise"

"Okay, but only with the accompaniment of Greg, Warrick, Nicky or Me" he sighed, he'd known he was not going to win this one.

"So basically, _**you'll **_be my shadow."

_Suppose I said.._

_You're my saving grace_

He'd never tell Greg, but Grissom was worried sick. Greg getting beaten was bound to effect everyone, but it was different with Greg, he was the baby. A concept that on another day might have given Grissom the slight but yet suppressed urge to chuckle at how a 34 year old Harvard graduate could be the baby of a crime scene lab, but today, right now it wasn't funny because he understood the sentiment exactly. He knew about Nicky punching that guy, Warricks longing looks toward what Grissom knew to be the fastest road to the strip with all its casino's galore. And Sara, Sara was the only one who was looking for no out, she felt responsible no doubt, even though that was ridiculous. It wasn't he fault, it was his and now he couldn't do anything to console her, not even the stilted little gestures he might have attempted. Because he would understand if she hated him, he would be okay with that.

"Grissom" he heard her call out, her hands sliding up and down his shoulders in a consoling gesture, "were going to be okay."

_Would you want me when I'm not myself?_

_ Wait it out while I'm someone else? _

"Hey you" he heard he call out to him, making him stop and turn to her. She walked up to him slowly, her face determined but still so soft. He loved that look on her face, like she was trying to figure out a timeless enigma. He loved it almost as much as the one she had when she solved the puzzle at last.

"What's going on?" he asked casually.

"Okay well get this, the blood that we found was mixed with none other than…" grissom was listening and taking in every word she was saying. Or at least half his brain was, the other was happily taking in every little thing about her. Basking in her presence, how close she was, the words she was saying. And god but he did love it when she started speaking in Geek, it was undeniably cute how excited she could get over the strangest scientific abnormality. He was momentarily entranced in at first listening to the words but then that was lost to just watching her eyes light, her lips move…

"Grissom, are you listening to me?" she demanded, putting a hand on her hip.

"yes, and I think that the killer might have injected it in his bloodstream to incapacitate him." They continued down the hall, grissom and her both throwing theories around, but still if you looked you would see grissom eyes occasionally stray, right down to those lips.

_Would you want me when I'm not myself? _

_Wait it out while I'm someone else?_


End file.
